So, taking time out of my day before I crash for the night. It's been a while since I've written but I haven't had much energy or time. A typical day (M-F) in the life of me (every other day I have Will):
Between 4 & 5:30am Wake up, get myself and Will up dressed, showered, and fed
Between 6:00 & 7 Get out the door and drop Will off at school then get to work
Between 6:30 & 7:30 (Most of the time 7:30 because it's hard for me to get out of bed before 5:30) Get to work and prep for the day or mentally prepare myself for the day
8:00-4:15 Teach
4:15-5pm Clean up and pick up Will or drive home
5:30-8:30 Eat dinner, spend time with Will, put him to bed
8:30 - 11:00 Work on stuff for school (or as of late go to bed early because I'm so exhausted from being sick)
Wednesday night I review the paper written by a fellow classmate for my grad class and send it back wuth comments.
A typical Saturday:
8:00-10:00 Wake up, spend some time with Will
10:00-11:00 Drop Will off
11:00am - 9:00pm Do grad school homework (Read a few articles, write a paper)
9:00 - 11:00pm Spend time with my bf, go to bed
A typical Sunday:
8:00am-12:00am Organize paperwork, grading, laundry, and clean house (if I get the chance)
I'm so tired and I don't know if it's because I don't have much time to do the stuff I used to do (go to the gym, go skating, read a book for fun...) or if it's because I'm sick. So the latest...I might have hypothyroidism. I'll find out more next Wednesday but if I do have this condition I'll be happy to be on medication and not be tired anymore!
Also I have been very self-conscious lately. Since January I have been increasingly more obsessed with what people think of me expecially since I've been getting sick so much and taking off so much time from work. I've been really worried about what my coworkers think of me too. I wish I didn't have to deal with all this stupid insecurity. I'm hoping it goes away after I get better.
And now I have to worry about the future once again because my bf lost his job and now I have to worry about being the head of the household in charge of all bills. I wish I hadn't moved into such an expensive place...Plus that means I have to find a summer job and a job for next year if the school I'm at doesn't want to retain me due to the fact that I no longer want to be a teacher and I've missed so many days. I must be a complete pain in their ass lately!
Sometimes I wish I had just taken the easy way out and filed for disability. I've been way to stressed out and angry lately. Often times, I wonder if I am even capable of doing what normal people do or if it's just the infections I've had or the potential hypothyroidism. I really just want to feel normal again and it's been a while since I have.
Well, hopefully this weekend I won't waste most of it by sleeping. I have the opportunity to go out tomorrow; that should be fun! I haven't been out since the second week or so of January and could use some fun and dancing. We'll see if I'm completely up to par and not nervous around all the people; crowds have been freaking me out lately. God, I wish I was normal, I had better luck, and I had the ability to get everything done that I need to get done.
