Some Things Could Be Worse Than They Really Are

So the past few months have been kind of rough. Being sick and working a lot have been a huge strain on my positive attitude. Not to mention being the sole breadwinner in the family as Brian quit his job after he moved in. As well as having the financial responsibility for Will's school and health insurance. You think teachers would be financially well off but after all the deductions and summer pay, I really work for peanuts. Today was especially stressful but I'm tired of being negative so I put my thoughts in the right place. The tire fiasco could have been a lot worse. We could have been stuck by the side of road, or had a blow out, or an accident. We made it in one piece to Flagstaff to have fun and that's all that matters. For those who have read my blog, you know how much I've gone through; how much I've struggled. I am thankful that I am healthy enough to hold a full-time job; one that I love, I might add. I am thankful I have other side jobs to help me attempt to make ends meet. I am thankful that I am healthy enough to be a part of my son's life. I am thankful that my son is happy, healthy, and smart. I am happy that I have family and friends that love me and at the end of the day, that is all that matters. So if you're struggling, try to find the positive. Things could always be worse. At the end of the day, people matter; the people you love. I hope you all have a wonderful, blessed Christmas and that your New Year is filled with good times with the people you love!

Lucky!

Hi again, It's been a while...about three years to be exact. I actually forgot about this blog until a friend told me that he read it. In light of the tragedy with Robin Williams, I have decided to write once again. I just want to start off saying that I'm lucky; very lucky! In past posts on this blog, I often complained about how unlucky I was but I guess like everything in the Universe; it ebbs and flows. I have a wonderful job that I love, an awesome partner, and an intelligent son. I have the normal problems of anyone on Earth and I'm happy for those typical life problems. I relish the fact that I can have those run of the mill average problems because I've had so many not so normal problems throughout my life; especially loss. If you've read my other posts then you would understand why I'm so happy. Struggling with an illness and trying to live life is difficult. Being diagnosed bipolar is anything but normal. I don't tell many people in my day to day life because they judge. You see, there are many misconceived notions about bipolar people. They're lazy, they do drugs, they're alcoholics, they're violent. You name it, I've heard it. This makes it difficult to share with anyone your illness especially as a teacher. I have come a long way in the past two years. I tried many different medications to make me feel like the person I was before I was diagnosed Bipolar. Thankfully, I am on one currently. This is me: loving, confident, organized, social, motivated, creative, always striving to reach a new goal. Most of my insecurity and social phobia is gone and I'm living the American dream. I'd like to say again that I'm very lucky! Most people with mental illness cannot hold a job; their medications never working and having to live on disability for the rest of their lives. I know people who take 3-4 medications every day; I only have to take one. I've known friends who have committed suicide because they didn't get help soon enough. What people don't know about mental illness is that most who are suffering from mental illness are quiet sufferers. Those, like me, who went to the ER every night because something was wrong and being watched for an hour or two and sent home without treatment, without help. Unless you're ranting and raving, you don't get help. It took those around me to see what was wrong and get me the help that I needed and for that I am eternally grateful. I am lucky to have had friends and family who cared and who noticed. For all those people struggling out there; there is an answer! Don't give up! Don't suffer silently! Talk to someone you trust! There is help and if you need anything, I've been there before and you are welcome to reach out at any time! If I have learned anything through my struggles, it's to be there for others no matter what. You never know what they have been through and what they are struggling with.